just do it
fine only cuz shes asian
We stole some shitttt from king sooper's. fuck yeaaa
what did you steal
frozen pizza, cat litter, and preperation H. not much different than my usual grocery list.
I'm seriously so bored I'm seeing how many rooms I can masturbate in before I get caught.
Four. Poor grandma...
we turned his baptism video into a drinking game
He also has a monumental penis. It's unbelieveable. I'm sorry but he's perfect.
I just found scrambled eggs in my shower. Thanks for that, asshole.
Sad Megan is Sad
Have you been drinking my beer?
I sobered up in the middle of it, that I was hooking up with him in a rosemary bush. I woke up smelling like a pasta dish
My new roommate just announced that she got her period, popped a percoset, smoked a bowl, and started playing a video game. She says she's not moving till it's over. New hero?
Last week in my political science paper I quoted the Mighty Ducks. This week, I compared the Constitution to a weird pickle law in Connecticut (by law, it's not a pickle unless it bounces). So, yeah, clearly I'm ready to be back to being a college student.
My boss followed me on Twitter. Excuse me while I delete 90% of my tweets
you got drunk, told him he looked like shaggy and said 'I wouldn't show you my mystery machine for all the scooby snacks in the world'
Two guys I banged regularly got married this week. I need vodka.
I got in an argument over whether or not I'm a slut. I argued yes.
Beer and Reeses. dinner of champions
Randomize
