how many princess gummy vitamins will it take to negate last nights drinking binge?
no. you can't hotbox the world.
halloween makes it hard to decipher real cops... from sexy men dressed up as them.
you are not perverted enough for this relationship to work out.
He made me meet him in the baby department of walmart where he was waiting with his pregnant girlfriend. Time for a new dealer
Definitely just puked in this corn maze. Families are staring.
Mango bong: no go. Guava bong: sweet flaming buddha it was delicious. I shall teach you the ways of tropical fruit trees.
Update- I sold my hat to some drunk kid for 50 bucks. I used my earnings to buy beer on the way home. I realize to everyone else seeing me drinking on my balcony at 6am, I look like an alcoholic, but I'm thinking of it as a night cap
Tell me not to purchase 500 ball pit balls and a kiddy pool
No
Most men with as many freckles as you aren't vagina magnets. You are an exception to your kind.
I swear she lies about being allergic to gluten so she'll get all the jack and not have to drink shitty beer like the rest of us
I raided the fridge drunk the same time dad was eating breakfast
I feel like that's something that he should've asked me over dinner..... instead of with his hand down my pants? maybe not
You attract beautiful men with jobs. I attract ONE WITH A SOUL PATCH.
it was a sexy soul patch.
being serenaded is actually kind of awkward 2/10 do not reccommend
Randomize
