i wonder if she has dreads down there too...
If one more "stranger" walks up to me at the bar and asks how I have been, I am going to rehab.
i almost hope i AM knocked up so i can ruin the rest of his life
On another note, convinced a 9 year old my hickey was actually a zombie bite.
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What did he say? I couldn't hear him over the sound of how awesome his beard is.
i was beyond wasted so he tucked me into bed and wrapped the blankets around me like a burrito. then gave me a bloody mary and an omlet when i woke up. and who says living with your cousin is a bad thing?!
Lmfao I'm not trying to have a pissing contest over acid with my mom.....
Walking out of the bathroom and not knowing you have hand soap on the front of your pants so it looks like you blew a load on yourself really sets the tone for the rest of the week...
I feel I must have sex with him first to fully decide where my vagina belongs.
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He had a step stool to get in to his bed!
Just FYI, by the transitive property my breasts have now touched the Stanley Cup.
Just wanted to say, I appreciate your bravery in having read receipts
She's relieving herself in the laundry room. I'm really hoping there's a toilet in there...
Of course I'm using oj as a mixer, its flu season.
My vagina is no longer accepting new clients.
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