I just saw a commercial that said "call your doctor if erections last more than 4 hours". I said "disgusting" and my mom said "I know, i hate when that happens." Get me out of here.
seriously i just wanna be friends
pass
i walked into the first stall,, but there was no paper, so i'm in the other one. a little kid is in the one without paper now and is making a lot of noise. curious how this'll turn out for him.
after we had sex he told me his original plan was to have sex with my roommate but his buddy likes her so i was backup
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Almost threw up on my grandmother as she walked in the house. Had to run to the bathroom and vomit my brains out. Prolly getting taken out of the Will now.
Why am I wearing a dog collar
Only way we could keep you from running in to traffic.
That unicorn pillow pet really made sleeping with my head in the toilet a little better.
i may or may not have triedto pee like a boy and then dipped cheese ino the olive oil
You ask too many questions when I'm blowing you. You're like a dentist asking how my day has been during a cleaning.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm twenty nine years old, now is not the time to start trying new drugs. I need a hedge fund...not another drug-induced hangover.
Open the door and I will lure them out to freedom with viagra and candy orange slices. You know they love that shit.
I was told today that I'm the ugliest bartender in the area, so, I guess I have that going for me.
You know, I'm starting to enjoy brazilians. One day I'm going to make a therapist very very happy.
I really want to stop getting this drunk. I've got the Sunday scaries and it's only Saturday
She really wants to hug you. With her vagina.
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