what happens if a cat eats a birth control pill? i mean i don't care about the cat i really just don't want to get pregnant
Ohh the wonderful, yet disgusting things she can do with her hair
turns out Discover card thinks that if you spend $450 at four different liquor stores in one evening that the card "must have been stolen"
our health teacher's ringtone is Bad Romance and she has a tramp stamp. i will not skip this class, ever.
I don't know what's worse, the fact that my parents own a sex swing or the fact that my little cousin was playing on it
New major. Tourism Management. I dont know what it is but it sounds like something all the stupid slutty failed business management majors do.
i want us to warm up up with us making out while i lay you down touching and feeling all the spots you know are going to get you warmed up. im gonna move down your body kissing every inch as i move down past your panty line ;)
Did you watch the carolina game tonight?
Went outside and he was playing rock paper scissors with a cop over a drunk in public ticket.
I'm not even mad. I was just trying to get a boner, you're the one that had to see that
Drunkness level: fluent in olde norse
How do we stop her downward spiral?
Wine. For us.
No you don't understand. This tree is really alive. Like in Pocahontas.
So the pizza place just called me after an hour saying they don't have dough
Having sex with him is like yoga. I do it in the morning and then can't walk for three days afterwards.
So...I know we have a conversation later this week. But one of the key things I want to know is if I can specify having my body mummified and buried in Egypt (or at least nearby the Luxor in Vegas). How much money do you think that would cost? Do I need to increase my life insurance policy?
Randomize
