my little sister told my dad she found willy wonka's golden ticket in the backseat of my car. now my dad knows my boyfriend uses magnums.
Who wants to bang the sort of girl you can get with Axe body spray??
Can we have fireworks this year or will the ocean explode?
She made me cum so hard I couldn't hear for half an hour after
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Disgusting. If I saw her naked my dick would pack up his balls and leave.
I feel like a great embryo-shaped weight has been lifted off my shoulders.
and then they started calling me 'Shitshow Shandra', which apparently i took as a compliment.
How bad is the voicemail?
You graded my boobs.... C minus. Asshole.
Dude, I puked in the stall for God knows how long. Halfway through, a kid sits down in the stall next to me and starts jacking off, i heard the porn on his phone and everything. so FYI, the middle stall is where good nights go to die
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I thought you wanted to talk?
What part of "Lets have angry sex" means I want to talk?
His brother just asked him in all seriousness if it would be cool if they became eskimo brother brothers.
No other way to put this but the dick was not worth him crying for an hour after. No more online hookups.
Why do I have "apologize to Dave Coulier" written on my hand?
I don't care what you say about him, his cock is the stuff dreams are made of.
So that guy from plenty of fish has a lightning bolt tattooed on his face. I kinda feel like I HAVE to sleep with him now.
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