I dint menn to makr ut w brtendr
Wat???
U lft me at bar, no cassh for cab, may have slept with bartender
I went from sexy to sloppy in a matter of minutes
Should I ask him to prom mid fuck? That way he has to say yes.
I plan on putting pajamas back on after I shower. Today is going to be awesome.
never let anyone you met on skype borrow your car. lesson learned.
Just flooded the bathroom while masturbating in the shower. Managed to squeege most of it up. Desperately need to get laid.
I gave you a 45 minute blowjob. You were inside me for 3 minutes. I'm going to need you to get your shit together.
Just sponge bathed with a swissper. Thrush inevitable. Shaking.
Pavlovs bj experiment 2012. Welcome to the program.
Instead of getting a taxi some gay black guy drove us home. He is trying to break into the taxi business
Way to promote small business.
I just want my paycheck, and my friends. And alcohol and tacos. Is that so much to ask?
totally just stole a 24 pack straight out of the miller truck
You had sex with a guy who has a purple beard last night. No Molly for a while, ok?
I need to stop acting like a porn star that isn't getting paid
So today was the first day i've been sober since Wednesday according to my roommate!
Randomize
