Pretty sure I only gave out my other # though. You know, 777 777-7777
Hahaha. So was it a Freudian slip, or wishful thinking? ;)
Could be either seeing as you're in my phone as "3rd bar" and I couldn't pick you outta a line up.
girl you didnt miss much. except me passing out for 3 hours AT JOBBIE NOONER on some random's boat. i was topless, then completely naked. heard girls were throwing ice cubes at me. i was useless. remember nothing.
She asked to borrow my chapstick then said "I promise I won't get herpes on it"
he acted like he had never seen anyone snort lines of adderall off of a microwave before. freshman.
she was drinking until 3, woke up at 7, shouted 'I'M STILL DRUNK" and went out for a jog in her thong
I'm over this relationship. I'm just going to get drunk all day, wake up in a puddle of my own vomit again, and go on with my life
My sister was crawling her way home and kept asking us to carry her,then she insisted on grabbing at our ankles til she passed out, how was your night?
New wedding record, my shirt was off by 8pm!!!
We have a bucket list tonight. Not done yet. Gotta climb a building
I don't know which I need first...a shower or a confessional.
No ambien sex tonight. I just ate two hotdogs with chilli and onions.
Laziness has hit a new level. I'm out of clean sexy underwear and meeting a boy tonight so I'm having a thong delivered via post mates.
Hey remind me the get the pancakes out of my jacket
Gonna try and have sex in the empire state bldg, will tell you how it goes
Also I will be receiving my own bra in the mail because I left it at his place, woops
Randomize
