i don't know her name but she is cooking me brkfst then helpin me find my car.
she hot?
i don't wanna talk about it
i now know from two sources i am better at making out and giving head than she is. and not by a little either.
I admire the strength of friendship we have that allows for sharing husbands.
A cab driver remembered me by name, address, and ex fuck buddys nick name from a year ago. I mustve been one memorable shit show.
Saying he's good in bed would be like saying Soulja Boy is a good rapper, completely unlogical if you've heard him.
I'm in Target and the lady in front of me is buying three Summer's Eve douches, a box of fishsticks and a giant bottle of vodka. The sad thing is I get it.
i was way too optimistic last night... got back to my apartment and the porch light was still on, like i'd actually make it all the way home.
He thought I was flirting with him but really I just needed someone to hold me up.
There is a man playing a trumpet at this brunch and I hate life. Too hungover for this. Send help ASAP.
I don't know what you're doing this morning, but obtaining Plan B is my number-one priority.
I feel like we'd have a lot of fun being drunk at a dog show.
yeah, i'm probably gonna die. still gonna be totally worth it tho
I got off F O U R times, just because he wanted to hear me moan. He is my hero.
Obviously you're feeling a little sexually frustrated.
I consider humping a stranger every ten minutes when I walk in the street.
When they said they were gonna tattoo each other's gamer tags on their asses, I knew I no longer had a boyfriend.
Randomize
