i cleaned the weed out of my bowl, pretended it was a spoon and ate oatmeal with it. my mom cried
We had unprotected sex and she's eating life cereal for breakfast. The universe is telling me get the plan b for her
The 30 seconds of sex was almost worth it...I mean he did smoke me out and watched the princess and the frog with me
My boobs grew. They knew we were going to vegas.
I know its been a few months but you must know you hve the 2nd biggest dick I've ever seen. 1st place went to a rapper so don't feel bad.
and now her best friend is massaging my table under the leg. this may not end well.
Who are these men, what are we doing here, how is this helping us toward our goals of sex and pasta? Things to consider.
I just tried on my "outfit" for tonight and I should just wear sweatpants and a sign on my face that says I like it in the ass. That would be more comfortable
gymnastic barn sex. fuck i wish i hadn't blacked out
If we accept the love we think we deserve do we also accept the sex we think we deserve?
Currently siting in the living room naked, staring at one of the girls across the street in her living room naked. This is like the most intense starting contest of all time.
I wish on days I started my period Chipotle would come to my house with a burrito bar ... Then give me a chocolate cake and a large beer.
He's saved in my phone as 'MURICA. I think it's safe to say I'm not exactly taking him seriously.
No, I found out he was gay when I walked in on him blowing the guy from the dorm room next to ours.
dude where did you go last night?
when the tequila says to run, you start running.
Randomize
