Dude. I just woke up without a shirt or bra on. Apparently I fell asleep with a quesadilla in my mouth. I can feel my liver hating me.
and this is why we should make december sharting awareness month.
the cop didnt laugh with me when he patted me down and pulled out my flask.
Please find an outlet that isn't stripping or getting drunk and arrested
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wish we couldve been like jesus and the desiples tongith
I am in fact going to raffle myself off for a night. If you are interested in buying a ticket let me know. $10 a ticket.
id say bad/good trip...at first I wanted to claw off my skin... but then when i tried i ended up tickling myself for an hour.
I don't care. I'll text you about my butthole whenever I please. That's what you signed up for in this relationship.
I have a new philosophy. Fuck wearing bras, it's summertime.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
DISHONOR ON YOU. DISHONOR ON YO FAMILY. DISHONOR ON YO COW
I reek of vagina.. My cab driver commented.
I'm moving out of my place and I just gave my mom a couch that I had sex on last night. Reduce, reuse, recycle at its best.
I was angry that a college kid had a new Audi
so I peed on it
My vagina is glad I'm back at work because it needs a vacation after working all through my vacation.
MDMA IS GREAT AND YOU WERE THE WORST GIRLFRIEND EVER.
Randomize