I did something stupid with eggs call me when you get up. Cops were also involved.
you shoved the noah's ark of animal crakers in your mouth saturday.
do you ever just like the smell of your farts?
She recited Pi throughout ever orgasm she had....she said it was a game she likes to play...how far she gets is how she judges her lovers...I am oddly turned on by this...
The little things make me happy. Little dicks do not.
2 showers later and I'm still finding cum on random body parts of mine
Barack Obama mentioned plan B and suddenly this address seems a lot more personal
I can only get completely wasted and hungry two more times and then we're out of fritos.
i wish i just like had a pee bag attached to me and i could just go whenever i want wherever i want
Quick question. How did my clothes end up in your room on your bed and I end up outside your room naked on your couch?
Sorry about waking up naked in your bed this morning.
I had sex on the roof of the dorm last night ... I feel like a combination of spiderman and van wilder
We fucked, she finished, high fived me, the pulled a celebratory pack of gushers out of her purse for each of us. I'm going to marry your sister dude.
Is offering to blow your HR rep considered an ethics violation?
The cop told you he couldn't let you pee. You just pulled your pants down and squared anyway and im surprised you didnt get arrested.No more drinking for you.
Randomize
