So we made editble underwear with fruit roll ups and fruit by the foot
Somedays I wish I were a bird. Then people wouldn't be so grossed out when I vomit
I love my bros weed
Im gonna hate it in like 20 mins though
she looked me in the eyes and called me a poet because i was singing lady gaga, then she fell over...
You would think that someone would have been sober enough to object to vodka bong races.
It was the worst sex ever. All she did was tap on my balls with her hands like she was in a reggae band.
Honestly, it's not that easy picking a Saturday night outfit that can translate to Palm Sunday mass. Priorities.
There was a lot going on. It was easy to miss a 70 foot tall puppet.
Can someone please explain where the fish in the mason jar came from when we were at a bar all night?
You told the bartender if he gave you one of the fish you'd go away
Ohh man. That was a snatch-waxer with a score to settle.
bought even stevens on dvd and enough weed and pizza bagels to last us a week.. ready to get snowed in?
My doctor actually said I was suffering from an "acute hangover" in doctor's note I asked him for....what a douche
is it bad that I see hot guys I wanna sleep with as challenges instead of actual people?
yes. but it works for you
HAMMERED.. I made a peanut butter and jelly sandwich with toilet paper instead of bread...
It's wednesday. OF COURSE HE'S DRUNK.
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