i slept with her, drove her to her sisters house to babysit, and then drove around the block where i met her sister and had sex with her in my van. I'm family Friendly!
Mother fucker. I'm a 30J now. I'm fucking speechless
I had to do a class evaluation today & the girl beside me didn't fill in any bubbles she just wrote in huge letters RETIRE across the whole sheet
Riding on an electric horse at the grocery store... dunno how that conversation went but I hope you picked up a 12 pack.
Got some good news and bad news about the hayride this weekend.
The good news is its still on, the bad news is we don't have any hay. The best news, if you drink enough you won't give a fuck that its just a trailer.
because drunk making out is frowned upon in museums i think
I wonder what acid is like for a blind person... Can we find this out?
Guess the answer to the last 2 texts right and you'll get a boob shot tonight. Guess wrong and it will be a picture of a used, boogery kleenex.
My dad wants to dress like mitt Romney tomorrow night and tell trick or treaters they owe him candy.
you know that feeling on acid where you think the world stops just to fuck with you? That's what it felt like.
I guess I'll just chalk it up as a learning experience and a lot of great sex.
I need to keep a secret stash of instant alcoholic margaritas for when i deal with people. For example, right now, im grading, and I just don't fucking care any more. My students should make a thank you card for Jose Cuervo.
There's not really an emoticon that says "I'm sorry I honked your boobs, and that you weren't a fan of that."
What, so now you are his nutritionist and his fuck buddy?
I made out with my moms boyfriends son last night. Thanksgiving is gonna be reeeal fun!
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