All I'm saying, is that being compared to a Muppet is not the end of the world.
Only time i ever look at my online banking statement is to see when i left the bar.
we fucked the fort apart but we'll rebuild it after we get some drinks.
Just been one of those weeks where alcohol out weighs friendship
I am VERY upset that you called my fiesta a waste of time.
As far as drugs go, alcohol has all the elegance and precision of hitting yourself in the head with a hammer.
i'm totally cool with all the dick sucking you're doing down there, but as your brother i think i'm supposed to warn you our parents will be home in 5
Maybe one day we'll get unicorn butt tattoos together
Walking down the street, Bro bumping to 'still' by dre. Dropped his trash on the ground and aggressively sped up when his light turned green. If you still had love for the streets you wouldn't of fucking littered. Took everything for me not to yell at him. I know you would've.
He asked if I was going to squirt out my bday candles. I'm glad the perversion doesn't stop for special occasions.
Tent sex on an air mattress requires balance and flexibility. Not for the faint of heart
Nothing says you made great Saturday night choices like someone's dick that you don't remember, poking you in the ass Sunday morning.
I am at a cat party and I just witnessed people lapping vodka out of a bowl for a contest. Lol
So I forgot to ask, how was that bartender you slept with two weeks ago?
Google chlamydia.
There is no rule that you can't be in a room with more than one dick that's been inside you.
Randomize
