i DID NOT walk around with my knees bent and my hands behind my back with long spandex and underarmour pretending to be Apollo Ono
I love your family. Oh. And on a completely unrelated note, I know where we can steal a dog.
I didn't hate myself when I woke up today, that's improvement right?
I wish you'd make everyone's lives easier and do him already. Then we can get rid of him.
you are going to have to live with the consequences, i'm going to fuck your sister
This is my first time seeing you since your lesbian experience. SO EXCITED!
My head feels like a nest made of hair and cum
I just spent 10 min explaining to my mom how orange is a strange color. I think she knows
In the middle of me riding him, he stopped me and said "You're the kind of person who would be restrained for being obnoxiously drunk on an airplane, huh?"
Yup. Dog walker, house sitter and mistress to the rich, bored and bi-curious. I've got a nice little operation running.
I went through my entire iTunes library and made a playlist called "Feelings". I have 7.5 hours of feelings.
Now everytime I sit on a toilet I think about having sex with him. Great.
You licked my eyeball, you are officially cut off. If you just missed you can have a second chance on Friday.
No? The only contact I've had with him for months was when I drunk texted him from Costa Rica to say that all jazz sounds the same
You just had sex during the movie Radio. This is an all time low
Randomize
