my mario cart skills improve with alchohol. and i think my real car skills do to but the cop didnt see my logic
just found my old 10th grade stash of beer in a shoebox. guess who's getting trashed tonight
my sombrero is too big for the bathroom
I mean I gotta puke to be skinny, wax to be hairless, and drink to be fun. Life isn't easy.
The guy in 209 is masturbating with the door cracked again
hey, haven't seen your testicles in a while...you 3 still alive?
I felt like a dog for all the times during sex that he said "good girl"
judging from the lines on my body they wheeled me back in a shopping cart
That's true. There's really no bad time to take a Vicodin.
It is the Reeses peanut butter cup of pharmaceuticals.
Ohh man. That was a snatch-waxer with a score to settle.
Oh we were great hosts that night. We made sure to leave all the beds open by passing out on the bathroom floors instead.
What happened to fro yo and sex?
He stumbled out of the bathroom with his pants around his ankles yelling "tie my shooes!"
Hung out near hay bales in sweaters then she gave me a pumpkin spice pop rocks bj. That was so freakin' seasonal.
he just kept biting everyone and singing hilary duff songs. i can't even bring him to a gas station.
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