what do kids with lesbian moms do for father's day? like do you talk about it? is it awkward? do you get the butchy mom a card?
I got otter pops to cool the beers, it's an all around better idea.
Just used a champagne bottle to outline a trigonometric circle for math 104.. should i give up on life now or later?
As hard as i've been partying lately their gonna have to revoke my organ donor status
she's like the billy mays of hookups...touch my boobs and i'll throw in this blow job ABSOLUTELY FREE
Haha you were definitely messed up. Let me know if you need anything
Could really use a time machine and a higher self esteem, in that order
Not my man #1 and if he likes it then he should put a title on it. Till then the gates of hell. Aka my vagina are open for entrance.
I got head this morning from the 31-year-old version of Jenn. It was like a blow job from the future while a simultaneous blast from the past for 10 minutes.
I'm supposed to be maturing, but no instead I'll be shitting my pants in Delaware for my 30th.
Hahahaha nah you won't shit your pants - but you will fully try mushrooms.
I don't understand why you aren't on this trip all I do is smoke weed drink beer and get fingered
Oh dude I know. When something that's supposed stop pregnancies taste like chocolate something's up
My mom just said we can't get married in nude body suits to look like earthworms. She's ruining my life.
Did you really kidnap my goldfish last night?
we went outside for a smoke and when we came back in you were ptfo on the floor holding the phone to your ear. Pizza pizza was on the line.
you yelled, puked and cried then passed out in the fetal position in your underwear
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