i just won a 100 dollar gift card to walmart in a karaoke contest...i love kentucky
So I'm pretty sure when I was giving a Birthday Blow J, he went to grab my boob, but grabbed a fat roll and asked "You're not wearing a bra?"
woke up in Sigma Chi. In his room. they are iniating pledges right now. Holy fucking shit mother of pearl.
Lets start the night off early. Those Coronas arent going to throw themselves up.
Just watched a guy fight a garbage can then pee on it, screaming "I told you to listen to me the first time!!" San Francisco, I've missed you.
you had me at cake vodka
Well you wanna do it now or later? I've had three shots and I'm listening to journey by myself. Emotionally there is no better prime time than right now.
Thats like me asking what you think of antisocial polish guys with mysterious rashes
I got kicked out of the men's bathroom at the diner last night because i was straddling the sink attempting to pee with pants on. Beat that.
I may or may not have pissed on my floor last night
Welcome to 22
Getting a blow job while breaking up with my gf helps cope with the pain... Kinda weird her best friend is giving me the BJ
Stay calm. It's a titty bar. A ring of cocaine will protect you.
I had sex with two guys in one day. One on my grandma's couch, one on a golf course. This is the greatest post-surgery accomplishment I could ask for.
I was at a hookups house and peed in his sink so I wouldn't wake up his mom... drunk me is on a different level
He tried to do a JoJo pose and wound up breaking his wrist in the process. Truly a story for the ages.
Randomize
