At my boss' house at a bbq. Had a few beers. Taking a poop - there's no TP...this is my nightmare.
make sure to take notes today. there is a guy in a wheelchair who might be getting a DUI from a cop on horseback. I'm gonna see this through.
she's in the bathroom. spitting in the trashcan. not throwing up. just spitting and singing bad romance by lady gaga.
thatta girl
Apparently I was playing rock paper scissors against myself for 2 hours in the bathroom mirror.
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i'm making a list of conversation topics in my blackberry so the ride won't be so awkward
other girls like to lick balls but none of them live for it like u do
Bad news is I found gravy in my nightstand again.
I make your heart skip a beat like that pivotal moment when you open a public toilet lid
Literally lying on a futon being hand fed bacon
Fuck you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
By the time the opening band finished, she was already slurring, coming on to the gay couple next to us, and waving her panties in the air.
I GOT MY PERIOD THIS IS A GLORIOUS DAY I AM TOTALLY GOING TO MAKE PIES TO CELEBRATE THAT THERE ARE NO REPUBLICANS IN MY UTERUS!
If he doesn't get here soon I'm taking off my thong and eating his dinner.
we went book shopping, so yes this relationship is going to be about more than sex
poll: am I friendzoned if he just called me brochacha? on one hand, he called me bro, but on the other, he used the a to make it feminine.
Found your bra in my backseat. And yes it took me that long to finally clean it out from last weekend
Didn't even know it was missing, if that makes you feel any better
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