id be glad to
My astrological sign? Vagitarius.
the 24 hour champagne diet aint going so well
Went to use to bathroom and walked in on karaoke. Two girls singing "a whole new world" to each other in the shower. I'm gonna miss this place in the summer
do you think having her use a clorox disinfecting wipe on her vagina will keep me from getting her herpes if I don't have a condom?
There's just something about sucking a flaccid dick that makes me feel so calm. Like a baby cow..
I mean I don't object to weird looking penis as long as it gets the job done. I just need to get it in. I'm gonna be humping chairs soon.
"just because you look like a short version of scarlet johanson does not mean I would immediately fuck you" that was the single.most difficult thing to say. but seriously I don't want the roots of the whore tree anywhere near my junk.
YES. YOU ARE GOING TO HAVE SEX WITH ME WHILE I SING LES MIS.
Dude, I lost my shirt, and my doorknob is gone. I'm not sure which I should find first
Well, I made it all the way to the gas station. And from there, I begged a cab driver who was parked outside, to give me a piggy back ride the final 2 blocks to my apartment. I wasn't in the cab. Didn't have to pay. Drunk me is smart, and very lazy.
I think I'm a wingman for every guy who bangs a girl I scarred in highschool.
Question: what's the protocol for seeing your mistress walking alongside her clueless boyfriend? If you could answer this ten minutes ago, that'd be great.
I may have been mad at the Supreme Court/patriarchy and tried to hate fuck myself.
He said he loved me more than Kel loves orange soda
the result of growing up in the '90's
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