Haha na a cat just ran under your car. Howd that happen?
Probably a woman cat. Doesnt think things through
So is chris hansen cool in person? Or is it just awkward while you wait for the cops?
you yelled "you will never make love to jesus" and then ran into the tv.
Fact: Telling a guy he has erectile dysfunction doesn't solve the problem.
Mom just apologized for her lack of a gag reflex not being genetic.
I know it sounds like a good idea, but doing Spanish homework at a bar just because the owners are Mexican and they give us margaritas really wasn't the best decision.
you made sure you came back for your bottle of vodka but didn't remember to take your shoes
That's the kind of break up sex that keeps couples together. Damn.
Hes wearing a shirt that says warning shitshow and i cant help but think his attorney made him wear it so ppl know the dangers.
Whatever happend to that lawsuit where he got sued for shittig in that fish tank
No more co-pays for contraceptives. Whoever says Obama is a bad guy has clearly never had a pregnancy scare.
What wine did you feed Jack? Might not want to waste the good stuff on kitties. Kitties only get box wine.
By the time the opening band finished, she was already slurring, coming on to the gay couple next to us, and waving her panties in the air.
I think the guy I was trying to dance with was an undercover cop...
You kept saying you only wanted to drink until you were sleepy. You succeeded if "sleepy" means you sleepied around with 4/6 of the guys there.
My parents are paying for my knee surgery for my birthday. What costume will look good on crutches for my Halloween Birthday?
Welcome to adulthood.
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