You hook up with other guys, let him talk to other girls.
no
im gay
i know
yea but for you.
apparently i'm not the first person wake up and realize she's ugly cuz i tore this house apart and there is no sign of my clothes
Mmmm, vodka for breakfast
you were so drunk you tried to use the microwave as a calculator for your BAC
i found out what alaskan girls practice during those six months of darkness
The bar I'm at just passed out smores to everyone. I don't know what it has to do with cinco de mayo but I'm down.
Soup is not an acceptable meal before doing that many Jager bombs
He snuck into my grandmothers house, broke her lamp, fucked me, then had breakfast with us the next morning. I am an awful granddaughter.
I have been way too involved with your nipples this weekend
We made a bet that we had to talk like Yoda all night at the bars
Im playing lifeguard in my own bathroom. How's ur night?
I have full custody of my vagina however you are granted visiting hours
Woke up in bushes at UT didn't know I was Austin last night
Is texting an old booty call with "can you still get your ankles behind your ears?" an appropriate way to reemerge into the singles scene???
Randomize
