$1 pitcher night should be outlawed.
You were playing beer pong by yourself. Finally someone took the ball and threw it into the bonfire. You sat by it, cried, and contemplated how to get it out. For 45 minutes.
i stuck my finger in my ass and it felt weird. but you know. it should be different when a guy does it right?
his profile picture is a blurry one of him holding a beer. i recognized him instantly.
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It's my fault there's ramen coiled around his penis.
she wants to wait til the kids are asleep so im just shotgunning the parents beers in the pillow fort. I love fucking babysitters
That's unfortunate. Distance can be a stoner's greatest enemy.
You make it sound like a battle for Middle Earth.
He fucked a girl named Oreo... He deserved syphilis.
Jen gave my number to some guy she met in NY. He sent me a picture of his weiner. He had nice shoes. I replied with a pic of bacon.
When in doubt always reply with bacon.
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I know you're gay. But if I'm not getting dick, then you have to. That's what friends do.
Don't know how your birthday has been, but mine has involved Hershey's syrup and a blowie. It's safe to say you're playing catch up.
oh and apparently my boobs are named "have no fear" and "plenty o'beer"
Aaaaaaaand dick pic. God bless america, and god bless tinder.
I'm not sure why he thinks weird that I masturbate AND look at pinterest at the same time.
Have you ever woken up and said a thank you prayer to the beer gods for allowing you to wake up in the morning and still have the ability to walk and talk? Because we should.
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