literally had 100 drinks last night.
this is amzing! feels like my body is having sex with its surroundings!
I would really like to get high with Bill Nye. I'm being dead serious. Every step I take is literally a step I take because it will take me closer to Science Guy high.
We could get him to build Inspector Gadget.
I didn't know you were high TOOOO!!!
Pizza is the life boat of my drunk Titanic
I mean I don't object to weird looking penis as long as it gets the job done. I just need to get it in. I'm gonna be humping chairs soon.
Marshall is naming all the elements of my face. I love science nerds.
You are the voice of reason. And I'm bringing wine. Like seriously this is his last chance. Don't touch me once, shame on you.. Don't touch me twice, shame on me
STOP WHATEVER YOU ARE DOING AND GO OUTSIDE RIGHT NOW. THE MOON LOOKS LIKE CATWOMAN
Just read 119 best sex positions. I wanna try 107 of them. Can I put you down for 50?
I walked around with red solo cups on my feet, weeds tied around my neck and a tree in my hand
You don't understand!!! BACON ROSES!!! Why are you not more excited?!
Only you would get a side of potential vagina with your sandwich
ill let you put your finger in a lot of things. but a ring is not one of them.
Just packed vodka and spare underwear into my purse- totally set for watching the hockey with him tonight
Once again I let my vagina make the decisions...that and vodka :(
Randomize
