Donna and I are betting on whether or not you are going to cheat on your boyfriend tonight....I said you wouldnt do it.
You might as well just give her the money now.
How many pudding cups do I have to eat for it to count as dinner?
4.
**i WaNt TO sLaP mY niECe wHO ThINks iT iS cUte tO WriTE LiKE tHiS**
I'm not saying he's gay. Just that he prob knows what a dick tastes like
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have a great idea. you just need to get pregnant.
Mother, no, i will not talk about this again. Please stop planning my unborn daughters life. I will not put her in pagents. That is trashy. Stop watching toddlers in tiaras. It is also trashy. I love you.
Ya I fucked her.. But now Melissa is gonna find out
Just tell her that in a man's never ending war between his heart and his dick... His heart never wins
Please tell me what happened last night... specifically who told me it was a good idea to pee in my shoe.
I fell asleep with all the lights and heat on in the apartment with windows open, Earth Hour is lost on people like me.
they're both probably 7 inches? or 8? I'm shoving a ruler in my mouth trying to figure it out
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
But mostly fuck him senseless. Render him speechless. Have him look at my vagina and wonder, "WHAT SORCERY IS THIS?!"
Tell me about it. Running across highways take alot outta ya. When he found out, he was all "concerned" about it.
He said he didn't want to go down on me so I told him we were going to have an oral stalemate.
Talking to a customer about getting high and staring at glow in the dark wheels while there is a cop in the store. Just another day in Tampa
"Why is there a bottle of Tequila taped to the fan?"
I am that special "drink water and be grateful I'm alive" kind of hungover
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