you're bored at work aren't you?
I'm toying with the idea of beating off under my desk
You make homosexuality sound like a cult.
I think i found my new favorite workout. Go to a party where you dont know anybody and constantly walk around the house so you dont look awkward standing alone. im up to 1.8 miles
He said we were driving the golf cart through the woods screaming 'iceroad truckers' for four hours in the dark
I know it is almost summer when the students in my night class start showing up drunk.
I woke up and watched my kitten suck on his nipple. Way too hungover to intervene. He thought it was me, so he just giggled and mumbled "mmm girl."
Seriously? God I hope he wasn't lactating.
......... Poor kitty
I'm mumbling to people and trying not to accidentally shit my pants
Letting two friends screw at my place in exchange for weed. This is my life.
Well, you know sobriety isn't something I like to do on the reg.
Currently sitting in the movie theatre bathroom while she gives him a blowjob in the parking lot. Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend.
Talking to friends parents while buying all the things needed for Jell-O shots. classic
I just meant the frequency of your blow jobs on a flow chart wouldn't look too promising
This morning when you were fucking me you said you'd go to the store and get me tampons and a 30 pack
Sometimes I look at her and just start choking. She is that much of an evil entity.
Considering I drank for you last night, do you mind picking up your half of the hangover
Randomize
