he is fucking friends with his exwife on facebook, but he defriends me after 3 dates? am i that crazy?
i woke up convinced that my room was backwards i tried to go into the closet to get outta my room
so how was last night?
got high and had our usual talk about the definition of cole slaw. then tried to call the ramen noodle company and convince them why my face should be on thier packages.
ugh i can't even wear this perfume anymore. it just brings back blurry memories of blowjobs and regret.
For some reason there are two like 10 year old black girls crumping at the bar. I feel like I'm in a missy elliot video.
Just started taking liver support pills. Welcome to Senior year.
That reminds me of that one time you handcuffed me to a table leg while I was reaching for the vodka.
I'm pretty sure they kept making references about gangbanging me but I was too stoned to catch on, I just sat there and stared at his kitten.
How do I know if porn I have watched is haunted?
Well. Your father was, shall we say, privately surfing the Internet when he found a video of you and Kevin. This was on a very public website honey.
By the way, Kevin! OMG good catch honey!
Maybe the problem is guy has to ask his wife if he can go out to lunch with his girlfriend for an hour...
My tights ended up on the driveway folded neatly. Any ideas how that happened?
He was wearing running shoes tho. Thats like the cardinal rule. You don't fuck a guy who wears running shoes as regular shoes.
I'm really just disappointed in myself for having sex with a musical theater major
So I just saw someone get shoved into a car trunk by your car.
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