Jennifer and I just ate like 4 jello shots w/ a guy dressed as inspector gadget. We are still in the capital building btw
I love Texas.
I love the "adulterer" look on you. It's hot.
Its part of my fall instant classic line.
Now that I'm 21, I feel like I'm letting North Dakota down by not being drunk everyday
the last 2 times weve had drunk sex ive had to get the morning after pill.. he's turning into a real expensive fuck buddy.
you thought your balls were fighting each other...
IDK but this explains my bloody dashboard.
I'm going to make an art book filled with pics of me peeing in every bar bathroom I've ever been in. Dedicating it to you. You're welcome.
Dude if it is ever said "everybody get inside the police helicopter just showed up.". That means it was a successful party.
Oh okay. That's fine. I'll buy us both dinner when you bail me out
It's a post jail date
Drinking a grey goose and water in a random chair that I found by the road by myself
So there's that.
First poop in my apartment for the summer, officially settled in. :)
Just learned that the cute guy I've been flirting with at the beach this whole time is actually an inmate working in the community instead of being in prison.. My life is unreal
I asked you why you bought a sword and you then replied with the greek alphabet and then tried to assure me that samurais are apart of greek life.
Dude, I just turned down sexual favours because I need to study... What the fuck is wrong with me?
Dude i just passed out while getting head...she cried
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