my head feels like I tried to put alcohol out of business last night
I saw him at work today and he gave me a really awkward "I know what you do drunk" look...
well. it's seven AM and i'm too high to hula hoop.
dude i need to stop getting high. i cant afford to eat like this...
It didn't get weird until she took off her underwear, looked down, and said "fill her up!"
He came in my nose, then said it would help clear my sinuses.
There is a literally infinite number of spliffs going around this table.
Delicious
I feel like I'm at a sushi bar with a spliff belt.
I'm bringing Sergeant Single Slut out this weekend. I hope you're ready for her.
I just wanted to let u know that I called the taco people and informed them what the fuck is up.
Embrace your curves. Cuz we're too poor for a coke habit.
Hey, I told her the bathroom was a "No fly zone" after I used it. She willingly allowed her nose to go through that pain. It's her fault, she only supplied me with vodka when she knows I only drink rum.
Well he was mad because I chose tequila over him. He obviously doesn't understand that he will always be second to my first true love.
Don't worry my mom is buying me a vasectomy for Christmas
He put your tit in his mouth. Professionalism is out the window after that.
okay valid
all I remember is them saying he had a big dick and the next thing I know I’m leaving with him
Randomize
