After you puked you called ur mom and told her you fucked on her bed, then u said "Have a good night mommy!" hung up and passed out on my couch
that would explain 17missed calls and 3 very angry voicemails from her
you spent the like half the night trying to figure out the puzzles on the back of the captn crunch box
this just has baby written all over it
i told her my name was noah and she leans in and whispers "that makes me so wet." ive never been more thankful for the Notebook
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she named each of the players on the last ten madden covers in order and then shotgunned 2 beers...if she doesnt have a penis im in love
I caught them hiding behind a car trying to have sex.
You have to figure out where to put this turtle dude
He called me skinny, I broke his garbage disposal, then denied him sex. Normal second date etiquette.
The moment I was petting the giraffe was the moment I passed out
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Let's celebrate our freedom by getting high and doing stupid shit.
She had a baby Jesus butt plug
I smoked too much. I'm sitting on my balcony and I keep getting lost. Help me
I feel like I'm a car that keeps getting Bacardi 151 instead of fuel
I am become drunk, destroyer of all worlds
He thought reverse cowgirl meant he dressed up as a cowgirl. Honestly, it was more creepy than funny
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