and by charming I mean he has a horse cock.
If i could tip my vagina, i would.
He told me i was the nicest person he's ever arrested for DUI
i've been throwing up a lot lately. my guess is hangover but who knows morning sickness is always an option
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You told the bartender you needed 2 beers, and a shot of his cum...
i'm sad. The beetle crawled away. I was only trying to get him stoned.
I will pee on everything he values.
That's just weird. That doesn't make sense sexually at all. I mean, you might as well tape a pen to the tip and try and write your name while you're at it.
Woke up to the UT campus police fishing my boxers out of the university pool, guess it was a good night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just noticed that pic of your cock has a Christmas tree in the background. It's July.
I left my panties in the microwave for too long and they caught on fire
you bit my nipple really hard and then looked at me and said 'i feel responsible for the state of your nipples'
I'm hoarding IKEA meatballs in my purse
I just wanna know if were done hooking up so I know of that condom he left in my top drawer is fair game
Everyone needs to leave the house so I can use the good vibrator without being judged.
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