his logic is that since hes already cheated on her w me its doesnt count
which bright sisters idea was it to put semi-formal in the middle of no-shave november?
just found the land before time on youtube... I'm so fucked for finals
Sandwiches are there for you when porn isn't.
Just wanna let u know that we are almost on the pity blow job level of our friendship.
FYI I just found your friend. Asleep. In. My. Kayak. In. Pool.
I just ate a dove chocolate and the wrapper said "chocolate: always your valentine" WHAT KIND OF JACKASS WRITES THESE AND WHY MUST THEY MOCK ME?
I hope after we constantly bang for 2 days straight we can agree to be friends again
She said "I've been waiting to suck your cock since high school." I'm so glad so many freshmen are from our school.
My morning started with my mom giving me the number for a substance abuse councellor. How's your day going?
I think I'm gonna cut my hair just so I stop waking up with semen in it
I don't think it's ever a good night if I'm this hung over and I didn't even get an orgasm out of the deal...
The only thing that makes a night with half a bottle of cheap vodka is the other half of that bottle of cheap vodka.
You sat down in the middle of the road and started crying. We told you "Get your ass up or we're leaving you here." You replied "They'll findddd meeeeee" and ran after us.
Hey this is your roommate. You know the one that let you have sex with her while you called out your exs name and cried?
I have no recollection of that. You must have the wrong number. P.s. your thongs still on the ceiling fan.
Randomize
