Thats a flattering suggestion doug but lets be clear NO you may not put your face in my vagina just because ur not charging me a cover. sorry.
well when i got there she was attempting to stick the cat in her mouth.. so maybe you should go check on her
I wish "capable of destroying an innocent girl's life" is something I could put on my resume
i have rugburns grass stains and some road rash. im an all terrain slut
I give you the lube, you make me the mac and cheese, that's a pretty fair deal I think.
Well if he truly loves me he will just have to accept my flaws. And that includes a tequila dependency and borderline lesbianism.
I didn't plan on sleeping with him until he told me his mom is deaf.. Then I felt bad.
I've seen people win free drinks for a lot less dude, no need to drop trou on a piano.
You're 31, how do you still outdrink all these college kids?
Practice, Irish genes, and a lack of desire to live past 40. But mostly practice.
He told me to prepare for his "Jurassic cock" and I had to leave the room from laughing.
it was her dad's 50th birthday kegger. Within the first 5 minutes I got punched in the ear from an off-duty cop and smoked a joint the size of my vibrator.
oh yeah, and she got boxed-out by said cop. Then her dad turned around and high-fived him for it
So... How much of our rent is drug money?
Blacked out and Irish exited last night. At dinner. On a Sunday.
Just sold my panties for 40 bucks to some rando dude at the gay bar. I think I found a way to fund next years spring break trip. Hello cancun!
We met behind our asshole boss's back with the intent to oust him from the company. If this revolution is a success, bring nachoes.
Randomize
