my head feels like I tried to put alcohol out of business last night
some girl had on jean underwear. i hate america.
My parents foreign exchange student just walked in on me whacking off. Welcome to America :)
How does one fall all the way up a flight of stairs? Its hard on me knowing that the survival of our species depends on me not reproducing.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently I promised a worker at La Siesta free English lessons to make up for vomming all over the little Mariachi band.
Fuck him for salsa, please. I heard its a good recipe.
The first aid guy just told us to go get hammered...I'm taking his advice
I JUST FOUND AN INTERNATIONAL POLE DANCING CHAMPIONSHIP IN SPANISH
WHEN DID YOU SAY YOU COME BACK BC I GOT INVITED TO A KEG WAR PARTY
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Me and a 30 year old man are sitting in my bathtub in swimsuits drinking straight rum from the bottle. Don't tell me how fucked up your Christmas is.
WTF DUDE?
Stay calm. I'm sure there's a heterosexual explanation for this
I look like shit btw. Like the joker from Batman.
I'm not sure how that's possible unless you put on face paint. Which I would respect.
Have you ever had chicken nuggets while high? Because it tastes like hearing the Beatles for the first time
Woke up with champagne in my hair and honey mustard on my hands. Strangely, I'm okau with this
I just said "I love my cat" as a hobby.
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