trent lit his nipple on fire and said "i am the only highlander"
i just woke up and its 10 o'clock and the words "Robbies Fave Restraunt" and written in sharpie above my vage. Help me.
I'm 90% sure a girl here is wearing a bra strap as a headband.
he yelled "RELEASE THE KRAKEN" then hit me with his dick
I need some transition time from spring break.. can we day drink between classes this week?
I smelled my fingers after she left and they smelt like sugar cookies. I want that one again.
Ummm I just broke my no puke streak at church
No. I do not want to discuss your lesbian tendencies with my sister.
She still started it.
I saw someone get arrested while I was moving out...this has to be a good sign.
The good news is the house is clean, the bad news is someone redecorated the bonus room by spray painting "free willy" on the wall in honor of the girl who passed out in there last night.
You picked up her frozen vom puddle and threw it like a frisbee.
It's the happiest looking penis I've ever seen. It should have a top hat and a spectacle on and soft shoe across the room with a cane. He's a cheery little feller.
He fucked me so hard my nail polish actually chipped. I'm keeping him.
She made me a smoothie in the morning.. It was vodka and fruit.
You gonna smoke this blunt? Or are you gonna keep doing Kung-fu in my kitchen?
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