Whssdazt areerg yiu up to? U thijk ur lame!
read your last text- its a foreign language-im not ignoring you, easyyy
yeah she is the one who tells people i beat girls.. which ironically make me want to punch her in the face
That girl really should ne nicer to her vagina. It's not a playground.
Apparently hers is a theme park.
Important life lesson - flammable and inflammable mean the same thing
Those motion detector trash cans don't work fast enough to catch puke.
dude you cant keep breaking into my house just to raid my fridge.. especially at 3AM.
I have a king size bed, I guarantee multiple orgasms, and I'll give you a ride home in the morning. Respond quickly.
also i think i should join the bone marrow registration when im sober
Just found my glass of wine on top of the litter box. Every argument ever is invalid.
Thanks for coming out I think haley is drunk enough for breast milk White Russians
I guess I just don't understand how the two main issues with your ex involve a cock ring and a Christmas tree
Can you bring me some underwear? I feel uncomfortable going underwear less at a Remembrance Day ceremony.
just the thought of you slurpin down noodles really rustles my jimmy
you suck at sexting
He offered to dress his dick up as Charlie Chaplin to cheer me up.
Keep him.
Im so unlucky if I fell in a barrel of dicks, I'd come our sucking my thumb
Randomize
