We learned about herpes today in bio. I might as well have given the lecture
Having him eat chocolate out of you is not as romantic as it sounds. I'm still finding pieces.
that last vodka shot was definitely the straw that broke the camels alcohol tolerance level
I just looked at the maps icon on my IPhone and "eR" was typed in the search address bar. I wonder if we ever got there.
plus shes a stripper, ive been with strippers, if you fuck this up your penis will never forgive you
Winner winner, chicken dinner. I am the sole survivor of the orgy without strep. Or maybe I was the carrier?
All you need to know is that isn't jizz
If I was gonna be at your campus for halloween weekend, I'd dress up as the masked horny fairy and give out condoms. I'm so thoughtful.
Third base with a 7ft basketball player last night. Fingers like a champ. I call him Edward Penishands.
Wait. You NEVER used a Dizzy Doodler pen as a vibrator?!?
College: when you wake up drunk without pants and wearing a Cosby sweater
Our Tuesday night drunk Irish step dancing was on point tonight.
Well I'm sorry I assumed you were a human and that humans have the capability to forget sometimes.
Hopefully he gets to dig deep into my body, before he digs deep into my past ..
If a weird guy texts you in the near future asking if you are satan just go with it
Randomize
