I figured girls wouldn't be down to sleep w/ a guy who plugged a pregnant chick
my vag is singing 'hurts so good' by john mellencamp
He was able to grab love handles during doggy style... I know we said spring break mexico diet starts next week but i think we need to start tomorrow.
Wanna go watch Transformers and scream "AMERICA!"? I need a no thought activity
You blackout rapped the entire DMX song Party Up last night at karaoke without looking at the screen. Then you Tebowed on stage, hugged a black guy, puked in a garbage can, then left. You deserve a medal.
Btw: some husbands are not impressed by me trying to snap photos of their wives camel toe.
Walked back to my room from the bus last night and all I see is 3 of my friends on the porch chugging whiskey and then throwing up in unison
Dad had me doing shots of chocolate mint Everclear last night. I've never felt closer to him.
I love being high. The owl outside stopped who-ing and I could swear I just heard someone say, "Okay, that's a wrap!"
They just keep looking funny at me. No one has attempted to tell me that I don't make sense though so maybe they're all way more high than I am.
She said if her future children dont have blue eyes she wont love them
I feel like if he almost got me pregnant once, i can at least say hi in a bar
My skirt was too short for the church and I brought my flask to the Scrooge play. God bless us, everyone!
answer honestly do you think i can make a bloody mary with ketchup????
Bahahah I should. I’m the free range drunk girl who should clearly not be free range because who knows what kind of fuckery I would get into
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