Theres a random in my bed. Omg but at least he's a law student?
So when exactly did I get naked and makeout with the statue?
Her name starts with A and ends with whore.
i just realized i put more money and effort into 420 then i did for christmas
I tried to explain to him that we just wanted a stereotypical black friend to be in our group. He didn't take it too well... Never take me to the bar again.
If I have to go to the hospital can we stop by the liquor store on the way?
i remember too much of last night for it to have been successful
It was a sobriety test blowjob. If he could get it up, he could get me home.
He gave me one look and told me I'm not allowed to board the plane if I'm still as drunk by departure time.
I need rollerblades now
Rollerblades pick up bitches
It's getting to the point where my ability to get dick pix during the work day is impressing even me. Take that, adulthood!
Believe me honey Imma fuck the discount out of at least one plastic surgeon in my life
To shove my foot up anybody ass who tries to start shit. I'm not takin shit this year. That and I wanna volunteer somewhere to help make a difference
I'm not in it for just the sex. If I wanted mediocre dick once a week I would have stayed with one of my exes.
i sent him a picture of his friend's dick and told him he should really stop thinking he's my only option.
Randomize
