Don't cheat on me with the blonde bimbo religi freak
I wouldn't touch her with a ten foot pole
She's blonde
Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she can't stop having the shits.
it wasn't the penis i had been hoping for.....but i took it regardless.
just threw up on dog. broke microwave with cheese and spoon. having a bath with my barbies singing final countdown.
before you ask yes i found the absinthe under your bed. ITS THE FINAL COUNTDOWWWWNNNNNN
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am currently sitting on a candy bar to warm it up cause it was in the fridge so I can eat it while watching the last song and smoking weed by myself
We just made a drinking game out of our chemistry review. This might explain my chemistry grade.
The Fresno prostitute seemed offended all I wanted from her was directions back to the freeway.
was this before of after we tobbganned into that tree?
Look on the bright side. Now you know the number for poison control.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No kidding. I just keep looking at that 'under 21 until 11/21/2011' on my id and whispering "soon enough"
The guy who's car I hit last night just followed me on Twitter...not sure how to feel about it.
If you buy me a steak I will make the extra effort to ride you. If not, I'm just gonna lay there.
You've seen the quality of dick pics I normally get. The bar is high.
You're finding a boat, I'm going to sleep with a guy that lives above a bar and has 24 hour access. We are really nailing this adulting thing
How did I end up in some random dudes car?
Some guy came up to you and asked if you knew how to drive stick.
Randomize