I need a man. I think Im going to put myself on Craigs list since they caught the killer and all.
Do it and if you add naked pictures youll get an instant reply
the jolly green giant just puched the pope. halloween is the best.
He said they were doing a skit in class apparently someone else is dressed like a horse. Ive never felt more proned to skipping class than now
In fact, not a good idea to go into any house alone after a man invites you in from his balcony.
If I don't end up being a booty call for Valentine's Day, you wanna go to the movies?
Day #3 of being the only sober person at the bar. This is depression.
dreams really do come true on the roof and drinking again
You know, having a conversation evolve from attractive men to roommate orgies would be weird with anyone else, but you get me.
I'm going to give blood tomorrow. Prepare yourself for pictures and a cynical poem about the heart and its level of tangibility.
I'm training him to sit when I whistle the tune from the hunger games. I'm going to be the coolest parent ever.
she's a nursing student, i didn't think vomit would freak her out so much
you puked ON HER
You were laying on the floor coloring a "get well soon' card for your liver...
The waitress at the Denny's in usa remembered me from 2 years ago when we went at 4 in the morning plastered, wearing overalls and huge inflatable corona hats on our heads
Met the hot new neighbor. She's into country music and giving really good bjs. Latter made up for the former.
Congratulations on giving me my first and second hickeys last night. I made it almost 30 years without one, but who needs class these days?
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