i'm three days dirty after drinking 14 hours last night and some other questionable behavior (hula hooping at a large concert, for example) i will just always bring the class. and the sluttiness.
im dressed up like a present. waiting for someone to unwrap me ;)
this is your brother
Went to my car this morning. Found a waffle from Waffle House in the front seat. No idea how it got there. So hung over I ate it.
After walking in on us in the living room, he still insisted that he slept in my bed with me afterwards.
FYI the landlord called, said we need to clean the puke off the side of the house...was someone on the roof lastnight??
Come down. You're the next contestant on this bowl.
This was my thought process as I drunkenly ran home: Whoa! I'm going so FAST! Why don't I run EVERYWHERE! ALL THE TIME! Then I peed in a bush and passed out on the ground.
So basically you were a dog.
Also yeah I would definitely have to say that one of my favorite things to do is to get high and pet cats.
Was there a Canadian at your party or did I dream that?
Shit. I'm suppose to call the bank but I'm too high to talk numbers.
Well she described you as a "Sex-Viking", which seemed to be only slightly related to the red beard. So things are looking good!
Well if homeless lesbian experimenting divorcée is your new M.O., you're gonna need to start drinking more anyway so if that's what it takes to talk about it tomorrow afternoon, bottoms up bitch
I don't know what's worse the fact that I woke up with a clit piercing or the fact that I didn't pay for it.
I really love you gals. I'm sorry again. I'm just super protective of my poutine
Stop confusing me with every girl you know that doesn't like sex.
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