I solve my problems like an adult, at the strip club drinking on a work night.
In Denver there are more bars per capita than any other city also the healthiest city. That means lots of drunk girls and no fatties.
well, someone with very low standards is getting their dick sucked
shes laying on the floor in a bowl of salsa with her pants half off and she's crying... i dont know what to do...
i dont care how hungover you are, go back to the frat house and get him. HE IS 11.
She was puking in a plastic bag while cleaning where she puked on the floor. She knows how to multitask.
Also my vagina isn't a crater of death where nothing comes out
OMG CHARGE YOUR PHONE I NEED TO KNOW IF THIS IS A GOOD PICTURE OF MY ASS
either i huffed spraypaint or ate out that makeup artist. you decide.
I wore home his HoHoHo boxers. I've never felt such a connection to an article of clothing.
I was shitfaced. I filled my contact case WITH TANNING LOTION
Who told you that acid and Jurassic World was a good idea?
dont remember, but I'm pretty sure I was convinced that the hybrid dinosaur was satan the whole time. It was actually very spiritual
He will forever be known as the toe sucker who may or may not have been a father
Sext me about skeletons
im gonna shove his purity ring down his throat
Randomize
