so ur a construction worker, male escort, sex god and surfer? lol
well its been awhile since I've surfed
We are so in love
so when's the next time you get to see your balls
hanging on that rope, lady gaga looks exactly like a used tampon
all i know is that if they can hide that much blood in her outfit, they definitely could have hid a penis
stop changing my ringtone to people fucking, it looks bad at work
So... i mean if they do have cameras in his apartment buildings pool room atleast we gave them a little show.
Not even close. I woke up in the bed of Codys truck. Wrapped up in a sleeping bed, using a stuffed alligator as a pillow. And Alex was laying naked beside me. Not to mention I wasn't wearing the clothes I got there in.
Then you can skip the embarrassing can I date your ex since you're a lesbian now conversation
i hope this doesn't spoil anything but there are vikings and it is awesome
Ripped lines in the bathroom before my presentation.. Got bonus marks for my enthusiasm.. This is why I love drugs
I think 2012 will be the year I purposely put myself in awkward situations. Much like 2011 but really trying this time. Like fucking the little sister of a girl I already fucked and dating a chick that lives with her ex. It could be awesome or horrible.
I told him to keep his feelings in his pants because they're annoying and to just fuck me.
Ugh..Yesterday was a complete alcohol fueled shit show. Not making eye contact with anyone today. Don't deserve it. Eye contact is for decent people.
Did copperhead road at the bar. All the girl next to me did was stare at my glorious bouncing tits. CAN I FUCKING HELP YOU?? I worked hard for these tits.
He asked me what I wanted for Christmas. I told him an orgasm would be nice.
wtf why is there glitter all over my dog
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