The brown eye won't let me do that either.
you were convinced that if all her tampons were gone her period would stop, so you started eating them.
I hope he doesn't find the chex mix when he takes my shirt off.
Yep we found him face down in my sister's bathroom begging for blowjobs without mustard
Watching the gap toothed girl get more ass than me is almost devastating.
12 trash cans filled with water. Beer cans floating in each, 12 ft apart. Dodgeball. Ultimate beer pong.
Rules. We have to wear superhero outfits
She took the bride and groom figures and the top layer of their cake and tried to walk out of the reception with it in her purse.
i'm just sitting here watching hocus pocus, eating takeout, and taking self esteem quizzes online while everyone is out partying. you tell me how my night is.
I think if it were a part of everyone's daily routine, the world would be happier. International Finger Yourself While Bathing Day.
hey your mom heard me say to her " That right your not going to Shit right for a month"
How am I supposed to be friends with him when there's an exact replica of his dick in my underwear drawer?
But here's the wonderful thing about us. It's us. You could invite me over, get really wasted and end up sleeping with someone else and id be there in the morning to take you to breakfast.
I seriously have her in my phone as "Legit 8"...even I'm surprised
Also, there's definitely not a non-hilarious way to ask to stick something up your butt.
She just took all of the blankets in the house and threw them in the yard, because 'the grass was cold'..
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