You're completely useless in the revolution.
She's more of a "I'm gonna get herpes no matter how great her face looks like" pretty
What can I say? When alcohol is my motivation, I can move mountains.
The sex was so good I went temporarily numb. Slightly embarrassing when she pointed out I was kissing my own arm.
Note for the future: whiskey syrup is AMAZING on 3am pancakes.
Let's just say after this weekend I'm known as Shameous the Irish bar fighter.
We fucked to showtunes. Never going out with a theatre major ever again.
You definitely in your drunken state were really concerned you would forget to buy milk today
Zach, it's Lisa from work. Was that you yeiling BALLS DEEP at me on I-25 or is it just something about me that invites that from rando creeps?
I just realized I slept with a guy who used the pickup line "do you have a bandaid? I skinned my knee when I fell for you."
Anyway. I unfriended all of these people like a grown up and I am never talking to them again
Honestly and this might sound scary... But I want to get high and play with weapons
I don't know which is worse, the fact that his name is Kevin or the fact that he has a pornstache.
We will discuss everything tomorrow i presume. Including the sweaty naked tango.
Just bought 2 liters of wine and frozen waffles for dinner. Is this 30?
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