A homeless man in dtwn SF was blasting lil wayne and singing at the top of his lungs. I kinda wanted to give him my life savings
Eric and I got kicked off of karaoke last night. Apparently, singing about masturbation to the tune of "A Whole New World" is not appropriate and definitely frowned upon by the DJ.
She is definitely tripolar. Like bipolar but better/worse.
Where are you, who is in my bed, why is he wearing a spandex onesie as underwear, how did i get teethmarks on my forehead, what are we doing tonight?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My little brother just suggested we drink the rest of the vodka because it's raining. My job is complete.
He brought wine and beer. I'll put my pants on for wine and beer.
Figured out why that fly won't leave. It keeps buzzing through my weed smoke
Fly high, Fly.
Look,the guy had sex w/a Canadian prison guard on the deck of a cruise ship,he could blow any second.
I was like, booze is the closest thing I have to a father. Don't pour daddy down the sink
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Blow jobs in the hobby lobby parking lot, oh lawd there gonna pray for me when they review those tapes ...
I'm really tired of this guy walking his chicken in my neighborhood.
Also barcrawl friday. You ARE wearing a tiara
Where is Holly?
Nevermind. i can hear her having sex two doors down
I'll give you another blowjob if you bring me some cake.
Straight up just cock blocked my dad. Also this apple sauce is good.
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