help me. he won't leave me alone. he just licked my ear and he's so drunk. get him off me. we're in the closet. help.
On imdb the canadians say It's amazing
12 pack with dinner. Living by yourself is awesome.
You were so trashed that when you dropped your fruit rollup on the floor, you just sat next to it and cried.
I can hear my liver begging me not to go out tonight
I just got a whiff of tequila through the air conditioner.
you left a paper here that says 'to do list' but it looks like you just wrote "drink a bunch of cough syrup and watch Who's the Boss" like 60 times
This is why we can never be together. Well that and we r married to other ppl but that's very minor detail compared to the coffee issue
And now you know why we call him Three-Balls Brad
he force fed me pizza, ripped my clothes off, almost broke the couch, and actually broke my nose. it was a good night, i'd say 😂
God dammit everything I said last night about jungle juice being awesome just does not carry over into the next day
Yeah just had sex and grub hub came right after he did. I’d say it’s a win.
You wouldnt listen to us when we told you there was no place that was selling girlscout cookies at 4:30am...
He told me that losing me was the biggest mistake of his life. Of course it was. My tits are incredible and I know more about college football than he does.
I I was gonna wake him up with a blow job but I don't know how he would feel about it.
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