why do guys feel they can ask questions when im blowing them? you'd think they'd know my answer will always be "mmhmhmhmmm"
Just woke up in a hotel next to a 38 year old mom who's married... I think Spring Break has started
You were passed out on the chair and when I asked you if you were okay you looked up and said "I'm fine, I was just pretending for a picture" then passed out again.
today's the one month anniversary of me not giving anyone head. can you tell me you're proud
it's sad that this is a milestone
throwing up turkey will be a nice break from throwing up ramen
What sexual position says im sorry for your loss?
Like not in a "I wanna have sex with you way" more like a "I wanna cuddle your mustache way"
He hasn't left the hospital without a nurse's number all year. My nurses are always ugly or men. Wtf bro
He's like the unplanned child of drunkenness
Is it inception if it feels like another uterus is going to burst out of my current uterus?
Woke up on the floor with shoes on my hands...I'd say it was a success
What's with guys asking if I wanna "kick it" like I'm some fucking 19 year old
That awkward moment when you bring a guy back to your place then have to tell him you only have magnums.
I'd still fuck that
You'd fuck a dead moose
Quite possible
apparently i ended up downloading "thats amore", giving him head, and singing it... all at the same time
Randomize
