he just said he'd buy the porn
its a step up from the last guy
sometimes i wish i had a whole other life to spend on youtube
On a scale of one to trashy, how is this: Got drunk, gave a guy a hand job. In the middle of the bar
I think you broke the trashy scale
just left the emergency room. condom extraction.
She was standing in the road flagging traffic in a tshirt and boxers. I didn't stop.
All she wanted was a cigarette
That kid who fell through your coffee table is here. In a toga.
my mom just walked in on me in the shower doing the "ass hair shave" pose.
I was busy. But now I'm about to consume alcohol and chicken. We shall see where this takes us. Maybe to the moon, maybe to the floor. I have no idea.
I just remember going to take a piss and looking down on the floor and thinking "that looks comfortable" and then I was out.
Passed out mid cig in bed last night. Thank you cough for allowing me legal prescription hydrocodone.
He left in the middle of the night, he left his shoes behind and stole my doc martens..size 6 female. Wtf?
He better be a good lay, these underwear cost $50.
So it turns out "let's pretend to be gay so guys will stop hitting on us" was step one in her plan to get me into bed...
All because of that GODDAMNED MIKE PENCE.
I'm peeing on your house...you up?
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