i just spit dirty mouth water on my dentist. and apparently grinning sheepishly and saying "my b" doesn't make it better
I just remembered I gave a homeless man a ride to his bridge last night.
She bet her virginity on the Celtics. Looks like Kobe wont be the only one breaking in a new ring.
there's a sledge hammer in the bottom of the swimming pool... so whatever happened last night was probably awesome
careful of the bathroom.... theres some drunken ninja turtles in there....
Good, she had spurs on her boots. That is a sign for instant herp attack.
NO YOU'RE NOT. I don't want to hear that SHIT. Jameson appreciation day part 1 is saturday and YOU WILL BE READY.
That's fun. I just masturbated and I swear my vagina creaked.
just walked past the recycling bin in class, there's keystone cans in it. go cougs.
How was the party last night?
There's a mountain bike in the middle of our apartment. No one will claim it.
My lighter is stuck in my beard.
I called 911 when they kicked me out of the bar last night.
So you're not gonna be in town tonight?! Your dick was the light at the end of my academic tunnel!
She was topless, yelling this is Sparta, threatening to push her dad into the sewer. I am pretty sure she won't be at school.
Guy from the bar last night left his number on my waterbill on the counter, at the bottom he put don't forget I can hook you up at Little Caesars I work their part time.
You sure know how to pick em.
Randomize
