i just realized i've hooked up with every boy in this taco bell
That's the classiest thing you've ever said.
I'm still reeling over the fact that you beat us all at Risk while you were flat on your ass drunk and falling asleep on South America.
He gave her the shocker .. I didn't know people really did that.
I'm pre-party power houring. It's so catchy I couldn't not do it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It was like god placed me in his bed and said," here's your shot girl. Don't mess this up." And I looked at god and laughed in his face.
The bartender cut me off so I peed in the corner. How no one noticed I have no idea.
I either just got free sex or a nice jail sentence. Text me in 10 to verify.
He purred while eating me out. HE PURRED AND I LIKED IT.
I paid off a credit card today. And I was tested negative for HIV. AND I did laundry. Honestly, I'm most excited about the laundry.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just got breakfast in bed and he went down on me. And you though he was a bad idea. Shame
Guy pissing in the corner in downtown Boston as his girlfriend is covering him up, yelling "relationship goals"
It smells like grilled cheese and sexual frustration
There are some people who should not be trusted with a cell phone while drunk. You know your one of them when you call the cops on your own party.
mid-sex she goes "oh my god. you aren't even going to remember my name in the morning, are you?". And i was so wasted that i straight up told her "honestly, I don't even remember your name right now"
Hey, sorry I choked you last night... I was just really excited to see you.
Randomize