But I'm halfway naked in a seductive pose! I just want to get this right...
sitting with a guy who's looking at the cum stains on the bed. Do you think he's convinced it's from the cat?
No. He thinks you're slutty.
i have more money on itunes than i do in my bank account... college.
He walked in AS I was cumming. Now even my father knows I'm a squirter.
Not quite sure what happened last night. I'll drive your dresser over to you later.....
Come to me. Jacob is confessing his love and all I want is a hot dog. With chili. Not love.
How did you make it to work sans hangover?
4 words: Clif Bar soaked in tequila. Just like albert pujols
We shaved off his eyebrows I'm pretty sure his fiance will be thrilled at the wedding
In other news there is a guy at my office who I'm pretty sure will be wearing someone's skin as a coat one day.
I don't want to flatter myself but after the way he was looking at me today I think it might be me.
Oh my god. We just got locked out of our cabin and went to the neighbor's to see if they had a key and caught the neighbor jerking it. My night > your night
You used his ass cheeks to demonstrate how to play the bongos and he still called you the next day. That's true love.
Is it rude to send him a, "happy birthday, I hope you finally get an STD" text?
For the record you're an amazing lay and you have great taste in breakfast sandwiches
Really this has to stop, if they get any younger we will be breaking the law
You know youre getting old when you I.D. the person trying to take you home to be sure they're over 25. Help me.
Randomize
