The cop didn't care that I was peeing on the wall of my dorm building... All he said was, "come on, it's 9am."
she told me she sucks everyone's dick but mine because mine is too big and "hard to suck" i need to reevaluate the girls i fall in love with.
I've never heard a "this is the reason why i dont suck your cock" explanation go in that direction
He told me all about his plan for proposing to his girlfriend as pillow talk.
when i got there he was on top of an air mattress in the middle of the pool with a bag of doritos and a 40 telling people he needed his space.
It was good I woke up with my mattress on top of me. I walked around naked the whole night as people wished my Happy Birthday.
Before you say anything, my vagine does NOT discriminate against young dads
You flooded my bathroom while trying to construct a hot tub. All three of you were completely naked.
Tim john just told us the story about him losing his virginity at 14 during church on the emergency exit staircase. This is day drinking?
Update. He just picked me up and tried to demonstrate
Im officially canceling McCormick Monday. I got a raise.
Sooo grey goose Tuesday?????
He told me how it ended, then I blew him.
So he ruined the best cinematic experience of your life and you REWARDED him??
Had to drive my booty call home because he had an asthma attack after we had sex .. How was your night?
I woke up naked buried in snacks. Best night ever.
I told ya. I'm super awesome at making things super awkward. I'm the Awkwardnator.
You sat on me. Like I was a toilet. While I was on the toilet. You peed a little.
Last time I had a one night stand he ended up stalking me for two months.
So you're not picking up this weekend?
This weekend, I am Angela, visiting from Calgary. We'll have to roleplay this.
Randomize
