Is it sad that I woke up to more "Happy Holidays" texts on 4/20 than I did on Christmas?
You know why I moved here? No public intoxication law. A cop just helped me from my bent over vomit pose, asked if I was ok, and gave me a ride home.
It's a Lindsey's Going to Jail Theme party.
I'm trying to make a sex playlist
record yourself crying and put it on a loop.
In that case, I'll try 2 find a date. But my options are AA friends or fuck buddies.
I think we got naked. I can't remember but if you have "friends" written on your ass, then we did. Because I have "best" on mine.
I didnt think the feeling of accomplishment for fucking brothers would be this great.
I don't know what it was about last night, but every bar that i went to there was at least one girl there that i had done something with. I'm sure the girl that i went with knew because they all grabbed my penis and told me to call them.
Just wait til you visit, there will be an endless supply of fresh dick for your demand #economics
Hey, I shot that toilet dead center, drunk, from at least 6 ft away. I'm a fuckin awesome shot. You guys were completely safe.
Yes, that toilet won't be hurting anyone anymore.... Hahaha
I told him if he cums in my mouth he has to buy me a cake that says "sorry I came in your mouth"
I'm smoking in a kimono on the couch. Bring me gin.
Oh my fucking god!! There is a barefoot white guy with a fucking ninja sword in the middle of the street next to the pride gas station swinging his sword at peoples cars!! He almost got me. 3 people swerved off the road and stopped. I told a cop.
I'm gonna ask his dad. Weed trumps broken heart any day.
I've struck affair-gold. He's hot, he's ripped, he doesn't want a relationship, and most importantly he won't have to ask Gods permission to bang me like the last religious nut job did.
Randomize
