So... how did lowering your standards work out last night?
Best moment of my life. I just got a text from some random number that said i can't wait to touch you. Her name is kiara and she had the wrong number.
girl has like over 50 stars tattooed on her front, side and back. feels like i just fucked the universe.
I was amazed that you fell flat on your ass and still managed not to spill them drinks in your hands. Your getting good at this.
Found a barbie with nipples. Life is complete.
She brought an overnight bag to my party. Might as well have shown up wearing only a thong and a bottle of whip cream in her hand.
I am the drunkest girl in the tree.
I was woken up at 4am by a stranger shaking my foot who said I looked like I needed a cigarette.
I'm pleased to know that your mom refers to me as "the ass piliager" now
You also once spent an entire hour explaining the origin of the strip steak to me.
she was concerned about my dick piercings.
Omg my orgasm just made the fucking sun come out. Clearly my libido controls the weather now.
nyquil+orgasm=very intense and oddly interesting
i guess "never drinking again" is not an option when you invent a whole new level of drunk...
he'll eat me out, but god forbid we double dip when sharing salsa
Randomize
