Lol speaking of weird...he just sent me a naked pic of himself that said "meow" at the bottom.
I mean she's dancing like an epileptic patato and i'd like to slap her
kindergarten is hard when you're hung over.
Writing a love song to planned parenthood. what rhymes with "don't have AIDS"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just remebered that we smoked out my hamster yesterday...
i hope hes still alive. i just remember you give him a shit load of cereal and saying "trust me your going to need it"
You sent her a pic of your dick with 'guess what you cant have anymore' written on it with a marker.
She just kept tellin me God was coming back and he was leavin her with a bag of stale doritoes and shitty friends.
You do realize that you're sleeping with a man who is part of a gay harem, right?
You have to come over we all bought drinking hats. Mine has a turtle on it. Side note: somehow someone got their hands on 50 candied apples and we need to eat them...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Im still alive. Just can't talk. Or move. No need to worry
Is it too forward to say "stop being a good friend and start being a good fuck buddy"
You also hate cartoons and musicals, so I will take that to mean the movie was as awesome as I thought it was..smoke weed
He is a sweet angel sent from dick heaven!
It's hard to talk dirty with a mouth full of peanut butter
I'm still amazed at how you managed to get Doritos in my damn front pocket without me noticing. I got crumbs everywhere.
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