it was like playing where's waldo with your underwear
Charles is a playa. And I don't mean the spanish word for beach.
There's a show on the Discovery Channel about T-Rex sex. I think this just made my life.
we seriously had to hang a plastic bag on his ears so he could throw up right into it.
She said to delete the bj video, but I accidentally hit the 'send to her bf' button. My bad
Somehow she slept thru the vacuuming, people walking in and out, and the sound of constant beer bottles hitting the trash, but when someone said weed in a regular volume of voice she startled awake.
You were crying and asking his mom "why doesn't he like road head?"
he does have a point though, watching you drink makes me never want to drink again
Oh boy. Send him a care package with laxative cookies and alcohol. So he can shit himself while he's passed out drunk.
HOLD ONTO YOUR PANTIES AND SAY GOODBYE TO THE REMAINDER OF YOUR INTEGRITY
So apparently I was a completely different person lastnight, one who drinks scotch and makes out with 55 year old men who look like inspector gadget
Do you remember making out with the dude in the back of my cab last night?? You said his mustache tickled your tongue.
My sack is cleanly shaven and the rest of my body has been manscaped. i even put aftershave on my junk. i feel sleek like a fighter jet right now.
when I walked in the door they were passed out naked, on top of eachother, with tetris controllers in their hands.
all i'm saying is don't blame me if your purses are filled with whoppers
are we talking malt balls or BK?
Randomize
