i blacked out hard core.. it was bad peeeed muh bed
I'm sorry that you just had your first misguided homo experience
i went to disney world today with my friends, met snow white, then saw her later at a bar. she is naked next to me in her bed, passwed out. when you wish upon a star...
He saw my tits then looked up and yelled thank you jesus as loud as he could
I am going to get arrested. I am yelling fuck repeatedly, wearing a Bird jersey and polka dot pants while pounding wine. Amazing mug shot to follow.
Woke up this morning in a randoms bed clutching an airplane ticket. God I hope I'm still in the country
You hopped on the counter after puking, and told us you were wearing bare feet and didn't want to be alone.
I only feel half bad for cheating on him because while we were fucking I was given great relationship advice and now I'm ready to work some things out.
Would I be bad if I bought a pregnancy test at shoppers the same time I hand in a resume? Or do you think it would get me the job?
I'm the only one who goes to a bar and leaves with an extra twenty bucks and a pumpkin.
So when did "Are you okay?" translate into "Don't tell me you got fucked by another rando after another rager"?
We ended the night eating peanutbutter with our hands and smoking cigarettes in the house at 4am. Fucking Everclear, man.
...blackout vacation is awesome. Where did you end up? I think i'm in Miami.
Hospital.
Hey this is your roommate. You know the one that let you have sex with her while you called out your exs name and cried?
I have no recollection of that. You must have the wrong number. P.s. your thongs still on the ceiling fan.
This is the most exciting thing since movie theater hand jobs
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