I am in a vortex of obligation.
That girl really should ne nicer to her vagina. It's not a playground.
Apparently hers is a theme park.
I just saw a pregnant woman with a cigarette and a beer walking into the Larry the Cable Guy show. I'm glad my taxes are paying her medical expenses.
Great. I get laid, Leslie Nielsen dies. I can't have have sex anymore, the film community can't take another loss like this.
I'm sick of being broke. I had vicodin and frosting for lunch.
We JUST got rid of the new years fatties at my gym and now the spring break fatties are here. goddamn.
I caught him with his head in the spinach bag this morning. He was laughing demonically saying, "i love spinach, yes I do."
i woke up and saw you were brushing his hair naked. I can never pass out around you, man.
I'm cuddling with a baby pig and drinking champagne right now.
I only saw you for about 5 min, but you were rambling about how not even the whiskey could make you fight the skeleton guards.
But if you were going to pour a liquid on your naked body in fall its definitely pumpkin inspired something.
And I don't know if this is really ESP, or just a crazy feeling, but I'm pretty sure he has an std. Or at least a cold.
For a guy who won't fuck me, your dick is out a lot when we talk.
She left a cookie cake on my porch, and the frosting reads "I'm sorry". She left me an I'm-sorry-for-punching-you-in-the-face cake.
The dogs decided to play a new game called "Who Can Scream the Loudest?"
I won.
Randomize
